What would you expect?

I was in Chicago last week.

When I got back to SFO on Thursday, I got in the E30, and drove down to bottom of the parking structure. Since I had lost my ticket (clownish move) I had to park in the 15 minute spot, and talk to “the guy.” The guy was efficient. He found my plate on the entrance camera, checked the timestamp, and we were done. Exit ticket issued. Sweet. Easy. Unusual.

Back to the e30, whistling a little Bill Champlin, and the car doesn’t start. Cranks away enthusiastically, but no payoff. I turn the car to the “run” position and strain to listen over the roar of passenger jet takeoff. No fuel pump noise. Damn.

I’m a little handy with cars (read: obsessed and stupid about taking them apart), so out comes the back seat. Tappy tap on fuel pump, no noise. Open the hood, tappy tap on the relays, no noise. Well, lots of noise from me muttering and swearing, but no fuel pump noise. Called AAA. Tow coming in 40 minutes. Nice.

Sitting and waiting is not for me.

I continue to fiddle around, and suddenly the car springs to life. Hurray! I am a hero. I leave the car running, and then go about canceling the tow, getting another new card to exit since the previous card has now expired (you have 20 minutes to leave the garage). Again, easy. Surprising.

I am on my way, feeling a little proud – almost smug – having repaired my car with nothing more than a phillips head screwdriver, some ingenuity, and a little percussive maintenance. Smug doesn’t last long when you have less than an eighth of a tank of gas, and a car that doesn’t like starting. Uh-oh.

I need gas. Badly. I stop at the Woodside Chevron (which I choose because of the nice slope to the lot, which will allow me to coast the car into a parking place if it won’t stop after filling up) and get 12.7 gallons of gas. In a 12 gallon tank. That’s low fuel.

Car cranks away again, but no joy. Damn it. having planned for this, I coast away from the pump, park, and start reading the Internet on the trusty iPhone, looking for fuel pump prices. No one has one locally… how much for overnight shipping? Man, the 3G is fast in Woodsi…

The car is rocked violently from side to side, and I look up to see a horse trailer filling my window. I have been backed into, WHILE PARKED, by a diesel Dodge, towing roughly 13 horses.

Argh.

The rear quarter is smashed, the rear bumper broken, just like my dreams and spirit, respectively.

There is only one solution. I must have a paintless guy remove the dent. I must get a new bumper. And, of course, the ol’ fuel Pump needs to replaced. Easy enough. But what will I drive in the meantime?

Again, there is only one solution. Rent a car. Maybe an altima, or some other Japanese sedan that will run no matter what, and prove to me just how reliable cars can be.

That’s what a reasonable person would do.

So I bought this (bad pics – from PO. I will take some good ones after the rain stops):

2003 540i M-Sport 6-speed. A car for old men. Like me.

290 HP and 326 Lb/ft of torque is a lot. So are six gears. I can’t stop smiling.

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 21st, 2010 at 10:51 pm and is filed under Cars, E39 540i, Vehicles. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.