My first foray into politics
I decided to run for office in my local BMW club. I have no opposition. My platform was summed up thusly:
I’m Chris, and I would like to be your club Secretary.
See, way back when in college, I chose English as my major. It’s sort of like choosing unemployment as a major, except easier to spell. I thought maybe I’d write the next great novel, or maybe just a supermarket suspense book. I wanted to do something to put my stamp on literature in some small way.
Well, here’s my chance! I can write the minutes at club meetings! Come on! How do you think Chaucer got started? Yup, just like me he was an avid autocrosser and track junkie, and he probably owned at least 2 BMWs at any given time. Heck, I bet he even owned an e30 M3 at one point, and installed suspension in it 6 times. He and I are peas in a pod, man. I tell you. I am going to BE somebody.
I hope I win.
September 28th, 2006 21:42
I’m voting for Chaucer!
October 19th, 2006 10:36
Funny stuff, Chris. You write like you talk.
October 19th, 2006 11:15
Thanks. I do indeed write like I talk, which is probably due in no small part to the fact that I have a team of typists taking dictation at all times, just in case I stumble upon something funny in regular conversation.
They all hate me. Something about a lack of significant reward in their work, and a rash of carpel tunnel. They have started to make me a little afraid. I think I am losing influence over them, and I heard rumblings of a coup. Truth be told, I hate them for resenting me. Little parasites. Living off my hilarity….
Damn it! The one typing this now knows my true feelings. Stop looking at me, you… typist. Damn your incredible touch typing skills - avert your gaze! Stop taking dictation! Stop it, you! This instant!! Put that stapler down! Augh! Ooof! Noooooo!